Our paths have crossed with yours because we have a life we’d love to share with a child, but no child to share it with. I imagine we’re all experiencing a wide range of emotions; maybe even some fear and doubt. I wish we were there to talk with you. To listen. Maybe someday. My name is Cindy Chow. I don’t look like a Chow, but my husband Sam does. He has Hispanic and Chinese ancestry. We’ve got a bit of diversity going on here. We first met doing what we love, volunteering. We attended the same church but volunteered in separate high school groups. Love at first sight? Not really. Committed to a life long marriage? Absolutely.
I’ve struggled with infertility issues. Not being able to be a mom has been the most difficult challenge of my life. It wasn’t until recently, that adoption was placed on Sam’s heart. The yearning to parent and unconditionally love a child wouldn’t go away and it was at that time that he shared with me his desire. At first, I was in shock but as he continued to share, my deepest desire to be a mom was at arm’s length and my heart was filled with hope.
I used to think that Sam was the lucky one in this marriage, but now I know that I had it backwards. He’s a hard worker and very generous. He’s creative and I hate to admit it, but a better cook than I. He works in the field of Human Resources and has always been a wonderful provider for our family. He has grown to listen well (he’s had lots of practice with me), which enables him to coach others in overcoming obstacles to reach their goal.
I’m a Marriage and Family Therapist. Oddly enough, I’ve never done couples counseling. I’ve spent most of my years providing counseling to children at a Child Guidance Clinic, many of whom were foster children. I also spent a year dedicated to helping women and children affected by domestic violence. Currently, I work with high school students in Special Education. Both Sam and I are some of those crazy adults that don’t shy away from, but love teenagers. It’s what keeps us young at heart and energetic.
Outside of work, we spend time with family and friends, volunteer at our church with young adults, exercise and try to learn new ways of cooking healthy foods. We’d love to increase the number of people in our house that have a deep love for God, pets and 49er football. Ok, the 49er thing is negotiable. These three things we both loved individually, before meeting one another.
Through our volunteer efforts at the church, we’ve been helping raise other peoples’ kids for years, one of whom still sends me a card every Mother’s Day. We would love the opportunity to raise a child in our own home.
I told a friend who has 2 young children “If Sam and I get to adopt a baby, you’re going to have to help teach us what to do.” She responded “You and Sam have been nurturing and parenting many of us for years now.” Would we likely make a few parenting mistakes along the way? I’m afraid so, but thankfully, both of our families and a large network of friends with young children surround us, who would love to teach us a thing or two.
A friend who has adopted several children posted this quote “Adopting 1 child won’t change the world, but for that 1 child, the world will change.” I guess that sums up what we hope to do. A mom’s decision to place her child up for adoption is a difficult decision. Life isn’t always easy. It has ups and downs, periods of joy and sadness, laughter and tears. Our encouragement to you is we are on this journey of life with you and your child. Not in any way would we challenge the love you have for your child. That love will always remain in your heart and in ours. Our love will only be an extension of your heart and the life you brought into this world.