Dear Birth Parent(s):
First and foremost, thank you for considering us in what we imagine may be one of the most challenging decisions of your life. We don’t assume or judge the circumstances that have placed you in this situation but hope that by giving you a glimpse into our lives, you may achieve some comfort if selecting us for adoptive parents.
We are Veronica and Ernesto. We are both the eldest of three children (from our respective families) and are first generation Mexican American. Veronica was born in Watsonville, Northern California. She had a humble upbringing and most of her childhood was spent playing and growing up with cousins, uncles, and family surrounded by apple orchards. Her parents were primarily agricultural workers and provided a stable, nurturing and loving home. During middle school, her family moved to Southgate, CA where her parents still live to this day. She remains close to her family and Ernesto easily incorporated into it. Ernesto was born in Santa Ana, California and grew up in Anaheim, California. His parents provided a structured and supportive home. During his childhood, he was actively engaged in school, boy scouts, and school band. He also remains connected with his family despite his parent’s divorce during his early adulthood.
Ernesto loves deep sea ocean fishing and jumps at the chance of going with friends and family any chance he gets. He is also a “movie buff” and loves several aquatic activities. Veronica loves “do it yourself” projects, painting, drawing, crafts, planning gatherings, and cuddling with a good book and a cup of coffee. Together, we enjoy bicycling, taking walks, movies, taking “staycations” (stay at home vacations), spending time with our two cats (Mimi and Roxy) and eating sushi.
As fate would have it, we met upon graduating from college. We had attended different universities and at the time neither of us was looking for love. The fireworks went off when we met over the 1998 Independence Day weekend getaway planned by a mutual friend.
In the fall of 2000, Veronica began Psychology Graduate School in San Francisco, CA while Ernesto went off to Medical school in Chicago, IL. Having a long distance relationship became the first major challenge in our relationship. Needless to say, it was a difficult time in our lives. Coursework was intense, we were away from one another and our families, and it was a cultural shock. Most of our classmates did not share our upbringing and backgrounds, and there were periods were it felt extremely isolating. Yet through it all, we built friendships, networks, remained connected, faithful and committed to our relationship. Two months after Ernesto graduated, we got married. Veronica also graduated but it took her longer, finishing in 4 and a half years due to a significant illness she experienced during her second year.
After marriage in 2004, we decided to move to Chicago to complete our trainings. There, we began to face the second major challenge in our lives: Veronica was diagnosed with Lupus. Lupus, if you are not familiar with this illness, is an inherited rheumatologic (autoimmune) condition similar to rheumatoid arthritis. Persons affected by this illness tend to experience extreme fatigue, muscular and joint pain, rashes, and other painful symptoms. Treatment was quickly initiated to help Veronica return to her “normal” daily routine. Through it all, Ernesto did not waver on his wedding promise of “through sickness and health” and kept caring, holding, and helping Veronica through all the painful episodes and fears. Our relationship and love only became stronger.
Since the beginning of our relationship, we had hoped to someday have children of our own. However, the years began to pass and the Lupus was not under control. In late 2007, we learned that Lupus had affected Veronica’s kidneys and we would have to further post-pone our pregnancy. Over time, we had to make the painful decision that becoming pregnant would not be part of our lives. This decision has been the most difficult we have made together. Quite honestly, it has taken several years to work through it and to finally be at peace with it. We have cried, prayed, and held each other through it all. The pains and struggles we went through have only reinforced the commitment and love we have for one another. There is no cure for Lupus. The key has been learning how to live with Lupus. Lupus episodes still occur but with time management, self care, exercise, and healthy nutrition, the Lupus is stable. Overall, we learned that life will have its unfortunate and unexpected events. Nevertheless, life and God (we are Roman Catholics) can provide blessings and alternatives for one to experience life’s wonderful things. Despite it all, we have built a beautiful life together that we wish to share.
We hope you won’t be left thinking this is a sad story, but instead, can envision that we created a relationship grounded in love, commitment, and resilience. We live full and fulfilling lives and hope to pass our knowledge to our future child. By no means are we looking to fill a void. Our profound wish is to share our love, experience, and blessings so that we may provide our child with an opportunity to
blossom into a wonderful person. We intend to provide guidance so that she/he can become the best human being possible while all the while knowing she/he is loved in this world. We hope to someday meet you and thank you again for giving us your time and consideration.